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To the mother in each one of us

For strong women and those who want to be

Have you ever realized what happens if you don’t wake up the next morning? Or the cough you had last night may turn out to be a deadly disorder the very next day. Or the lump you were feeling on your back turns out to be a pernicious tumor?

Sounds scary, right?

Well, I’m scared too.


I have cells and tissues taken from a human embryo’s kidney, an adult’s pancreas or bones or neural cells from brain. I work with tumor samples taken from patients and try to grow them in optimal laboratory conditions to study its tumorigenicity. Maybe, by studying that how did this tumor form in the first place, I can figure out how to prevent its formation, altogether. Who knows, while working tirelessly on it, one day I can find the antidote to this entire phenomena.

Isn’t it remarkable?, the cells which were a part of a living person till yesterday, now becomes a mass of cells growing in the incubator of my lab. The entity which had an identity till yesterday, becomes just an unnamed peculiarity waiting to be explored.

While, I use all my biotechnology skills to make these cells grow, I happen to develop a solicitous relationship with them. They become a part and parcel of my life, something I see the first in the morning and last in the night. I spend days and weeks trying to figure out what happens to those normal and healthy cells and tissues abruptly that it costs someone’s life.

I try to mimic the environmental niche of these cells that could have led them to become so aggressive that it ruptured everything on its way. While, they learn to grow and proliferate outside their safe haven, to my dismay, they do not form tumors now. What has changed now? Did I not simulate its conditions when they are present inside a living human?

To whichever length, Science has progressed in culturing cells outside a human body, I tried to give it all to these tiny creatures, just like a nurturing mother does. She gives everything she has and everything she can in her power to bring out the best in her child. Subsequently, a connection develops between them which is far along any language barrier. I think I developed that fondness too towards these cells. After weeks of testing my immense patience and generosity, they start behaving normally, taking up nutrients, staying healthy and dividing just as they should.

They seem so obedient as if they are my kids who listen to everything I say.

Then there are days when they don’t grow at all and become quiescent. I spend weeks to provide them with rich nutrients and pamper them in whichever way they can take, just so that they can grow and divide. I change their culture media everyday so that no amount of debris can interfere with their growth. I provide them with growth supplements like an agonizing mother concerned for her child’s growth. They don’t take up any nutrients as if they are mad at me for giving more attention to that Netflix movie and not to them.


Few months later, one random day, to my astonishment, they mimic the way they are supposed to initially, they become voracious, bulky, aggressive, proliferate like no one else can and become the wildest tumor one can ever imagine. I don’t know why they do that, are they capricious? Or are they overwhelmed by the way I’ve treated them in the past. I’m still trying to figure it out.


I feel a sense of motherhood around them, like they are my own kids. I customized them with genetic engineering and saw them growing in front of my eyes, I adored them, invested my time and money on them. When they don’t listen to me or conceive the treatment I give, I get mad at them for being so erratic, just like any other mother would. I feel like throwing those cells away, for it is just being a parasite on me. But just like a mother cannot disown her own child despite it being the notorious one, even I couldn’t gather the tenacity to discard my cells.

The most magical day of my life was when I became a mother and the Science I do gave me this beautiful gift

Then, there are days when I think they get mad at me too for being punitive to them by not taking up any of the growth regulator I provide them with, just like a teenager would never listen to their Mom. They grow prodigiously with an insatiable hunger inside them. No matter, what drug I treat them with, nothing stops them from becoming deadly beasts.

Sometimes, my children think I’m getting on their back. What they don’t understand is I’m the only one who has their back

And when in their later stages, they realize what their Mom was relentlessly trying to do with them was right in all the angles, they become what they were destined to be.

And that’s my holy job to raise the kids I didn’t even give birth to but was blessed to feel the motherhood around them. I try to learn while they grow and pass through all the developmental stages. I think our relationship is mutualism, where I shed my sweat to provide them with an environment to feed on, to grow and proliferate, while, in turn they become my subject of study. If I get successful in this venture, I don’t know how to thank them, but if I do not, I should learn how to apologize to them. In either of the roads, they become an important lesson contributing to my paramount knowledge and bestowing me with an infinite optimism of Motherhood.


This is a very long way, seems like an endless path. I’m sometimes unable to comprehend what question I’m actually answering to in my research or whether this process will actually be able to solve anything. All of this seems hazy, because our findings never meet our expectations, and that’s what Science is all about- a beautiful mystery.

But what I do know is I’m preparing myself and attempting to answer the family who lost a loved one without any reason or a body lying in the morgue room of a hospital waiting to know what happened to it one fine day. How do these deadly tumors take a heavy toll on our lives?

Whether I’m able to answer or not, this panorama is worth witnessing!


Blog Tour: The Bro Code

The Bro Code
By: Elizabeth A. Seibert

Published by Wattpad and Wattpad Books

Marketed by Smith Publicity

Some rules were made to be broken

As a certified stand-up bro, Nick Maguire knows that some things in life are sacred: Do not skip ab workouts. Never back down from spicy foods. And always accept the outcome of Rock, Paper, Scissors. For these are the revered doctrines of The Bro Code, rules of conduct that have been passed down through the ages from bro to bro.

Heading into his senior year, Cassidy High’s star soccer player has his priorities straight and intends to spend his time playing sports, hanging out, and living by the code. But when his best bro Carter’s sister Eliza returns from studying overseas, the awkward, academic girl Nick remembers is different.

Carter might be Nick’s bro, but Eliza becomes his whole world—and he has to make a choice between them. Is being with the girl of your dreams worth breaking the most important rule: never date your best friend’s sister? Somehow, Nick never expected that following The Bro Code may have even bigger consequences than breaking it.

About the Author


Elizabeth A. Seibert has been an author, sunscreen-obsessed lifeguard, barbecue-loving waitress, finance reporter, nine-to-five marketer, and aspiring superhero. Her stories on Wattpad have amassed over thirty million reads, and she’s been featured in Imagines: Celebrity Encounters Starring You (Simon & Schuster). Elizabeth currently lives in Massachusetts, USA, where she loves to cook and play board games and ultimate frisbee. The Bro Code is her debut novel. Visit at Elizabeth Seibert .

Blog Tour: Grant Beagan The Finder’s Code

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Book one of THE GRANT BEAGAN SERIES: GRANT BEAGAN The Finder’s Code written by Jonathan R. Miller. LIT UNIVERSE & GRANT BEAGAN STORY created by TOM ANDERSON

Lit Universe

Marketed by Smith Publicity

Synopsis

GRANT BEAGAN isn’t looking for trouble. He’s just an ordinary teenager who likes astronomy, video games and keeping his mom happy- or at least, happy enough. But everything changes for Grant when, by a twist of fate, he stumbles into a magical world very different from his own, a world filled with breathtaking wonders and amazing abilities, known as the world of the Lit. It is a world hidden in plain view, right in front of the rest of us (aka “the Unit”), but most of us only catch fleeting glimpses of the magic it contains. Overnight, Grant finds himself standing face to face with bizarre creatures, becoming a member of a complex magical society, and best of all, having his own dormant channelling abilities “lit” by a very special recruiter called a Flame.

As Grant begins to experience his new life as a member of the Lit- becoming a student of magic, exploring mind-bending new locations, and meeting extraordinary new mages of different nationalities (and species!) – he can’t imagine ever going back to his old life in the Unlit world. That is until he learns of a dangerous conflict arising in his midst. Before long, Grant finds himself embroiled in a battle between the Finder, a powerful type of mage that hasn’t been seen in five hundred years, and the Controller, a dangerous being with the power to exert control over the minds of others. To emerge unscathed, Grant will need to hone his channelling skills, build upon the powers he’s gained, face his deepest fears, solve a series of unusual mysteries, and apply the wisdom of the Mage Code, a set of seven principles left behind by the previous finder centuries ago.

Featuring memorable characters, fun and imaginative locations, uplifting themes, and a rich set of magical abilities, the first book in the Grant Beagan series unveil the extraordinary world of the Lit, a society of mages that are concealed from-yet intricately intertwined within- the everyday lives we lead.

About the Authors

Jonathan R. Miller is an author living in the Bay Area of California with his wife and daughter. He has written seven novels. This is his first book for YA readers. For more, please visit JonathanRMiller .

Tom Anderson is an experienced entrepreneur, inventor, and storyteller. he is currently working on a blockchain solution to enable the world’s infrastructure for transferring value, evolutionary algorithms to give computers the ability to think, and Grant Beagan and the Lit Universe. Tom has expertise in startups, virtual reality, robotics, blockchains, and evolutionary algorithms. Tom infused many of his personal philosophies in working with Jonathan to create the Lit Universe and Grant Beagan’s story. The story is a reflection of beliefs ranging from societal goals to the wonder of discovery and imagination, to the nature of reality itself. He has a wonderful wife, son and daughter and a cute dog, works with his brother Bill in high tech, and enjoys rock climbing and soccer.

A second-hand husband

Is there any relationship in this world that we can own? A person who will just ours to be.

Can we own anyone? or Do we have to live with the subtlety of our ephemeral relationships?

I read a book recently The Far Field by Madhuri Vijay, which won the JCB Prize for Literature 2019. Though the book emphasized on a fractured family revolving around a political history of Kashmir and India, I liked the book because it focused on ‘Nameless Relationships‘.

Do we need to ‘label‘ every relationship we have?

We are born with some relations and some we make during our life. Some of them are bonded with blood while some are just bonded with our emotions. They may not fall into the category of a friend or a paramour. They just exist without any labels, without any apprehensions of its existence, just because it makes us happy, it gives an escapade to our dull boring lives.

A second-hand husband is a story of my relationship with a project that was half-done by somebody and was given in my naive hands to complete. It was given to me as a favour to make me learn something I never knew and in-return to give me a recognition, the deal was closed. To a person who never ate a Turkish-delight before it seemed an enticing opportunity to give-in.

While I was trying to make ends meet, I happen to develop a relationship with it. A relationship I never wanted to put a label on, but it was irresistible not to. It is not easy to start where someone has left off. You need to study every circuit of it and re-wire the things in order to give it the shape it needs to finish. Sometimes, you need to clean-up the other person’s mess or let me say, the mess of the first wife.

I was nurturing it day-and-night facing criticism and failures with all my might. I loved it with all my heart but I couldn’t call it mine.

I was delving into this relationship to the extent that I could never comprehend the morbidity it is leading me into. I wasn’t aware of the melancholy I was indulging in, so I allowed myself to plummet. Maybe, somewhere I knew, but I presumed that someday it could be mine.

Why do we crave for pensive sadness? Why do we want it to hurt us brutally so we can find reasons to weep and mourn over it?
Why do sadness and demise seem so comfortable that I yearn to be in it?

Did it ever occur to you? You fell in love with a boy, you invest in a relationship which existed only in your head. You transformed this boy to a well-groomed gentleman, only to find out someday that the man is still in love with his ex-mistress. The One that got away leaving him in the puddle of insurmountable hope of existence, you picked it up and fostered to every need of his, but it still beats for someone else. How fragile can a human heart be?

You don’t really know how attached you are until you move away until you’ve experienced what it means to be dislodged, a cork floating on the ocean of another place.

Michelle Obama

Maybe, I was fine while I had an un-named relationship with it all this while. At least, I could hold it into my arms with fondness and would never let it go. But, now since it has groomed into someone worth recognition, it had to be labelled. It belonged to someone else.

That’s my second-hand husband!

The one I could never own!

Photo by Mike on Pexels.com

Blog Tour: The Invincible Summer of Juniper Jones by Daven McQueen

The Invincible Summer of Juniper Jones

by Daven McQueen
Publisher: Wattpad Books
Release Date: June 16, 2020

Genre: Young Adult, Historical Fiction

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Synopsis:


It’s the summer of 1955. For Ethan Harper, a biracial kid raised mostly by his white father, race has always been a distant conversation. When he’s sent to spend the summer with his aunt and uncle in small-town Alabama, his Blackness is suddenly front and center, and no one is shy about making it known he’s not welcome there. Except for Juniper Jones. The town’s resident oddball and free spirit, she’s everything the townspeople aren’t―open, kind, and full of acceptance.

Armed with two bikes and an unlimited supply of root beer floats, Ethan and Juniper set out to find their place in a town that’s bent on rejecting them. As Ethan is confronted for the first time by what it means to be Black in America, Juniper tries to help him see the beauty in even the ugliest reality, and that even the darkest days can give rise to an invincible summer.

Daven McQueen’s Juniper Jones is a character for all ages in this sweet coming of age story set in 1950s Alabama.

About the Author:

Daven McQueen grew up outside of Los Angeles, California. She graduated from Brown University, where she earned a B.A. in literary arts and economics. When she’s not writing, Daven can be found tap dancing, embroidering, cooking, and eating dessert. She lives in Boston, Massachusetts and works in education.

Interview with the Author:

Daven McQueen, Author of The Invincible Summer of Juniper Jones on:

ACCEPTANCE, IDENTITY, AND TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Question: What inspired you to write The Invincible Summer of Juniper Jones?

Daven McQueen: The Invincible Summer of Juniper Jones started as a summer lakeside story – I knew I wanted to write about friends in a small town by the water, but that idea alone wasn’t actually compelling to me. This was in my senior year of high school, as I was beginning to read more books by authors of color and realizing how much those narratives had been excluded from the stories I’d read growing up. As a biracial person, I decided I wanted to write a character who looked like me in a story that would allow him (and me) to grapple with racism, allyship, and identity, and the novel grew from there.

Q: Why did you choose to set this story in the 1950’s? How would the story be different if it took place in 2020?

DM: I feel that setting this story in the 1950s allowed me to more clearly articulate the racism Ethan faces. By having it take place before high-speed communication and the 24-hour news cycle, I had space to make Ethan’s reckoning with race more internal, focused primarily on his own lived experiences. In 2020, it would be impossible for Ethan’s naivete to be so pronounced, and he would likely be dealing with racism in the form of insidious microaggressions that he and the people close to him would have to process and work through differently. I wanted to write a story that could focus on its main characters and their immediate situation without too much interference from the greater world around them, and that felt most possible with a historical setting.

Q: How did you create the character Juniper? And how did you create her relationship with Ethan?

DM: Juniper was definitely inspired by some of my favorite childhood characters – Pippi Longstocking, Anne Shirley, Stargirl, Jo from Little Women – but her character felt like she came to the story mostly complete. I’d chosen the name Juniper from a street near my parents’ house (one my my favorite ways to collect character names), and it was such a bubbly, summery name that her personality came naturally. In creating her relationship with Ethan, I was really focused on building a strong and believable friendship. I imagined her first as a character who supported Ethan through everything – then, building on that, I thought about the ways that, even if she cared for Ethan unconditionally, she would make mistakes and even hurt him because of her limited understanding of racism. I felt that allowing moments for Juniper to mess up and Ethan to call her out on it made their friendship stronger, because it could stand through difficult conversations.

Q: In the story, Ethan grapples with understanding his identity. What do you hope your readers take away from Ethan’s struggle to accept himself while rejection is all around him?

DM: I hope that Ethan’s story makes clear the importance of a community, no matter how small. Ethan’s friendship with Juniper and their community of two is what helps carry him through his summer in Ellison. And moments of community with people who understand your lived experiences, as Ethan has with his mother, are invaluable to processing pain and healing together.

Q: What was the biggest challenge you faced while writing The Invincible Summer of Juniper Jones?

DM: I found it especially difficult to write about forgiveness in Invincible Summer. It was hard to balance wanting better relationships between Ethan and the people close to him while also honoring the pain they caused him that apologies and even growth can’t make up for. In the end, I think the challenge was acknowledging that maybe forgiveness wasn’t and didn’t need to be possible, but still allowing the characters to start rebuilding their relationships.

Q: Do you have any advice for readers who identify with Ethan and face the same struggles that he does in the book?

DM: To readers of color who struggle or have struggled with their identity, whether because of racism, being the only one, or any other reason: I see you, I get you. Your feelings are valid; you’re allowed to be sad, angry, confused – and sitting with and processing how you feel is a huge first step to stepping into your power and loving who you are.

About Wattpad Books

Wattpad Books, a division of Wattpad, is the leader in data-backed publishing. Leveraging billions of daily insights from Wattpad’s global community of 80 million book lovers, Wattpad Books combines the best of art and science, using human expertise and Story DNA Machine Learning technology to identify the trends, voices, and stories that are the future of publishing. By elevating the stories of diverse communities around the world, Wattpad Books is creating new space for writers and fans of every genre.

Visit books.wattpad.com for more information.

REVIEW COPIES & INTERVIEWS AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST

Blog Tour: Every Reason We Shouldn’t by Sara Fujimura

Every Reason We Shouldn’t 

(Every Reason We Shouldn’t #1)

by Sara Fujimura

Publisher: Tor Teen

Release Date: March 3rd 2020

Genre: Romance, Young Adult, Contemporary, Sports, Fiction, Teen, Cultural

Synopsis:


Warning: Contains family expectations, delightful banter, great romantic tension, skating (all kinds!), Korean pastries, and all the feels.
Fifteen-year-old, biracial figure skater Olivia Kennedy’s Olympic dreams have ended. She’s bitter, but enjoying life as a regular teenager instead of an athlete… until Jonah Choi starts training at her family’s struggling rink. Jonah’s driven, talented, going for the Olympics in speed skating, completely annoying… and totally gorgeous. Between teasing Jonah, helping her best friend try out for roller derby, figuring out life as a normal teen and keeping the family business running, Olivia’s got her hands full. But will rivalry bring her closer to Jonah, or drive them apart?
Every Reason We Shouldn’t by Sara Fujimura is a charming multicultural romance perfect for the many fans of Jenny Han and Rainbow Rowell.

About the Author:

SARA FUJIMURA is an award-winning young adult author and creative writing teacher. She is the American half of her Japanese-American family, and has written about Japanese culture and raising bicultural children for such magazines as Appleseeds, Learning Through History, East West, and Mothering, as well as travel-related articles for To Japan With Love. Her self-published young adult novels include Tanabata Wish and Breathe. She lives in Phoenix with her husband and children.

Tour Schedule:

https://fantasticflyingbookclub.blogspot.com/2020/05/tour-schedule-every-reason-we-shouldnt.html

Book Review:

This is a teenage love-story of an aspiring athlete, Olivia who is waiting for her dreams to come true. Struck by the misery of her fate and insurmountable weight of shattered dreams, she gave up on her love for skating. Eventually, Jonah enters into her life and everything changes. The way Jonah motivates her to not give up on her dreams was so flattering. The way their love story draws upon Olivia’s life showing the power of love and how she needed it the most is worth reading. I strongly recommend it to the readers of YA and Romantic-comedies.

Giveaway of Every Reason We Shouldn’t:

Prize: Win 1 of 3 copies of EVERY REASON WE SHOULDN’T by Sara Fujimura (US Only)

Starts: 27th May 2020

Ends: 10th June 2020

https://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/d9681b86505/?

Is it okay to hate the people you work with?

I don’t know what I want in my life, I just want to be a person who is happy and gets to sleep peacefully at night. Nothing more, nothing less.

They say a person is known by the company he keeps. That’s true! You develop a personality influenced by the people around you. The way they think, the way they work, the way they talk etc. seems to have an impact in your life.

Someone once asked me, ‘How do you get to decide what kind of a person someone is?’

I replied, ‘I don’t think academic qualifications define a person. Surely, they will add extra wingets but that’s not the core. The actual way to get to know someone is to see how do they treat others. The people younger than them, less successful than them, people who are struggling to make ends meet. Everyone treat their equals and their hierarchies lovingly and respectfully. It is how you treat the people who are standing lower to you on the ladder of success actually reflects the kind of person you are’.

According to me, someone who focuses only to their growth and success never goes any far. The person who makes sure everyone around them grows together, works as a team to bring something substantial to the table, is more successful than anyone else. This person is what is think is a LEADER.

There are instances when I don’t like the people around me, because we don’t think alike. We’re never on the same page and sometimes I doubt their upbringing too. They tend to lack the basic understanding of ‘How to work out among your colleagues while you’re still working?‘ I comprehend that it is not something as common as ‘common sense‘, but it does surely evinces the kind of person you are and the person you’ll become eventually along this journey.

Though, they say that competition brings out the best in people. I disagree with this perspective, because you’re focusing on only the individualistic growth and not the growth of the team or the organisation you are a part of. As Charles Darwin said, ‘Survival of the fittest‘. This competition will definitely bring out the fittest and the best people existing in the ecosystem, but does the ‘best of all the times‘ ever existed together? Perhaps, the ecosystem will lose its meaning, here.

Look at the bigger picture in life.

Would that be an ideal situation where every individual is helping each other grow, one step every day, one help at a time instead of bashing each other and making everyone feel inferior of themselves. Is that too much to ask for?

I remember sharing a few of such incidents with one of the Senior person in my organization. After minutes of me telling tales of what happened and what didn’t and what should have happened instead, this person just replied, “Been there, done that“. He added, ‘Try to live with it, this happens’. I stood profusely aghast by this response. People like him are the reason that this tormenting tradition of competition within a group exists and proliferate in the generations. Had he ever stood up for this, it wouldn’t have happened again.

I fail to grasp, Why is it so difficult to stay content with your everyday progress?

Why do you need the other person to lose just to make you feel better?

Why do you need a competition to win? Are you afraid to lose?

Why can’t all of us win and still stay sane?

My modus operandi is pretty simple: Why to fail when all of us can succeed?

If someone asks me today, ‘Is it okay to hate the people you work with?

I will reply, ‘It is absolutely fine to feel this. Been there, Done that‘.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

The Letter my Mom will never read

Dear Mom

I don’t know why I’m writing this letter here, instead of sending it straight to you. Maybe, because somewhere I know that even if you read it, you won’t understand it. Not because of the intricacies of my language here but because the lens you need to understand this perplexed situation is not available with you. And even if you do understand, you won’t let me realize it, and if this is Motherhood, it is very strange.

You are beautiful, pretty, a kind of person who has it all. I have inherited your smile and it is praise-worthy. You are the loudest person in our family, even if you are happy, you’ll let everyone know in our neighborhood just by laughing so hard. You are a multi-talented person I have witnessed in my life. You have a Midas touch in your hands, your fingers thick and plumpy, not at all artistic, that does every work of art. I have seen you painting, I have seen you knitting. You are an amazing cook. I just had to tell you that I want something of this kind and you get it for me with every detail just as I have mentioned. I wonder sometimes if you have a magic wand with you all the time or is it just the Motherhood that does everything.

I know I’m your favorite child. I have had perks for being the favorite and the loveliest of all. But there were demerits too. People talk about Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, What is the term for Excessive-Attention/Hyperactivity like symptoms? I think you had the latter one. You were obsessed with every activity of mine, be it good or bad. Your reaction to each one of them was so loud and over-reactive, that I learnt to hide things from you, so that I don’t have to see you frowning over just anything, for my mental peace. And that’s where I learnt to prioritize my satisfaction over yours, without ever pondering about how does my active life affected you, Does it make you happy, satisfied or sad? I never bothered to know.

You never liked any of my past relationships with boys. I wonder whether you didn’t like the boys I dated or me. The latter cannot be true because all those boys’ Moms were quite fond of me. Maybe, you didn’t like me getting into relationships. I remember you used to listen to my conversations by another connection of our telephone line. When I got my own mobile phone, you used to roam in and around the area where I was talking. I remember when you used to wake up early to secretly read my journals or the letters I used to write to these boys in the name of cleaning up the house. I think you never realized that I noticed all of this. I am your child, I notice even the slightest movement. But we never talked about it, maybe we both had immense patience to wait for the day when something bad happens so that you can give me a lecture on it. Maybe if we would have talked and discussed, things could have been different today. Maybe I would have learnt to love people differently and not secretly and maybe our relationship could have been a little less salty.

There was a time when as soon as a call comes from our humongous family, almost as large as a district’s population, about someone being hospitalized or someone dying or someone is having a baby, you used to run to help them leaving everything in our home just like that. Without bothering about your children who will return from school and seeing no lunch in the casserole, without thinking even once that they may have a test tomorrow for which they need to prepare. You are the Florence Nightingale of our family. You just left every responsibility which was yours to take on your children and since I was the favorite, it came on me. Maybe that’s where I learnt how to be independent, how to live alone and fend for myself and everyone else you used to feed and clean. I became a Mom when I was just a child.

I attribute my success to this – I never gave or took any excuse

Florence Nightingale

I know Motherhood does not come with a rule book to follow, you do things you’ve seen mothers doing or whatever you’ve experienced as a child. Maybe, that’s why there was no pattern in your behavior for dealing with me. Some days, you were so anxious that you even called up my friends by secretly copying their phone numbers from my diary to know about me. Then, there were days, you were not bothered to know if I’m happy in my life or not. So, I learnt to keep my emotions of happiness, curiosity, sadness and ambitions locked in a box inside me. That, if one day, I’ll vomit blood and there will be blood clots coming with it, they will be the clots of unspoken, unsaid and unheard words that I kept inside me all this while so that no one can ever know the life I was living. And maybe that day, I’ll meet someone who would be able to read my story from the clotted words.

I realized that you never like the boys I have dated, not even a single one. Even I don’t like them now. But you never gave your judgement to me, then. After so many years, now when I look back, I realize I have dated all the available crappiest boys turning into chauvinist men who have misogynist prejudices. The icing on the cake was while I was with them (individually, of course) I never realized it and was always carried away with their thinking and finding ways to make them happy even if it means agreeing to everything they say. Such a dumb creature, I was. Now, I realize, all of this was such a waste of my time and energy maybe that’s why you were unhappy with all my relationships.

I learnt how to be strong and struggle to stand straight in this crowded World. I learnt not to be with any man if he is not worth my time. But, while I was learning all this, I was thinking if you were the one I learnt this from, then

Why didn’t you learn it from yourself?

Why didn’t you fight for yourself?

Why did you make such a big sacrifice, first for your Father and then for mine?

Why didn’t you save yourself from this cruel patriarchy who crushed your soul and ambition in the name of ‘You’re a Girl’?

This Girl is on fire. She’s walking on fire.

Alicia Keys

I am an independent woman living today entirely on her own. I’ve build up a career on which everyone around is proud of me. I do not have to seek anyone’s permission or validation to do anything in my life. I am not answerable to anyone.

Do you see this girl? Yes, this one. You gave birth to her. You raised her sometimes with cold emotions and sometimes with love. I am the reward of your sacrifice, that’s what you say to everyone. But I’ll ask a question today, Was it necessary to do a sacrifice? You could’ve become this woman yourself and set up an example for me. You know it better that you’re way more accomplished than me and I have inherited all these skills from you, then Why don’t you stood-up for yourself?

I am a proud daughter. I tell everyone that my Mom is more educated than my Dad. In fact, she is emotionally stronger, efficient and talented than him. They say, you grow up together in a relationship, but I have seen only my Dad growing up, cause you were already grown. You brought out the best in him. You have this inherent skill to bring out the best in people by hook or crook.

Maybe that’s what distinguishes you from others. You know it is easy to become a substantial person, to pursue your goals and be successful in your life. It is difficult, and takes a lot to shape a person into a personality, the World looks up to.

Maybe that’s why you’re a mother and I’m your child.

Yours loveliest